Stay The Night
by RubyFiamma
Summary: [Gokudera x Reader] [A/U] [Smut] The roller coaster ride of how you first came to love Gokudera Hayato and what it means to be part of the mafia. [WARNINGS : Character Death] [First fanfic]
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **

**Based mainly TYL/AU with similar plotlines **

**Translations and a legend are at the end of this book. This is still in continuation so be patient! ^_^ **

**Stay The Night...**

* * *

**CHAPTER I **

This was exciting, your final year of highschool was almost over. No more torment from the exams, the other students, the teachers, the clubs... The disciplinary committee. You sighed a delightful sigh and took your textbooks out of your locker and shut it, clicking the lock closed.

"**Juudaime!**"

You froze as that familiar screech sent shivers up your spine. Ahead of you, you noticed an old classmate, Tsunayoshi Sawada, as he spun around. You didn't dare move, the person behind you scared you sometimes, especially when you'd talk to Tsuna.

The brunette's large brown eyes lit up and he smiled. "Gokudera-kun!"

Tsuna's eyes flickered over to you. You prayed he wouldn't notice you just this once while the all so scary Hayato Gokudera stood behind you.

"Ah! (Y/N) !" He grinned and waved.

kun." You gave a slight wave and thought it'd be best to keep moving, Gokudera had now caught up to you. You didn't want to, but couldn't help glance over to him warily and try to show him a courteous smile. He only scowled at you.

"Juudaime! I've just talked to Reborn-san," he said lowering his voice. He looked over his shoulder at you and glared, his sharp aquatic eyes telling you to get lost.

You lowered your head and hurried passed them in the hallway when Tsuna reached out and grabbed your arm.

"Hey, (Y/N), it's been a while since we talked," he said, flashing a grin. "Let's have lunch together, yeah?"

Gokudera looked stunned. "But Juudaime!"

Seeing the distress and not wanting to face Gokudera's wrath you politely decline and hurry to your next class. You could hear Tsuna giving a light scolding to the silver haired teenager.

You remembered the first day Gokudera had transfered to your classroom, the way he bullied Tsuna and how you had developed a strong disliking to him then. You were a transfer student too, coming in at the beginning of the year after your parents' company decided to move to Japan. You tried to understand his attitude but couldn't, especially not after Tsuna and the other students hadn't treated you any differently for being a foreigner. Then suddenly he had begun to follow him around in a similar fashion to a stray animal, calling him "Juudaime" which you came to understand meant "tenth". You of course thought that was odd but there again you also heard Gokudera refer to Yamamato Takeshi, another classmate, as "Yakyū Baka", which meant "baseball idiot" (probably insulting Yamamoto's love for baseball) too.

Gokudera seemed to have an insulting name to call everyone that came anywhere near Tsuna.

You looked back to see Tsuna in between Gokudera and Yamamoto, who had joined them. Yamamoto was laughing and running his hand through his raven hair while Gokudera was shaking his fist at him, angst written all over his face. You felt a smile curve your lips while watching them. Some things never change.


	2. Chapter II

**CHAPTER II **

But they did, a few years after highschool. You were going to university, studying in the medical field and working part time as a waitress and bartender at an Italian style restaurant close to your university. The days were long, the nights were longer and you felt you never had any time to yourself, but it was okay, you were on the path to a better future. There were several times where you'd have to go out into the field and shadow a doctor for a day, assist in an mock procedure or intern at a hospital.

This time though, a classmate asked you to take over her placement after becoming ill. It was at your old highschool, where she was interning as the school nurse. You gladly accepted, feeling the waves of nostalgia being back at Namimori.

The day had ended and you decided to finish your paper work in the school's nurses office instead of at home. You were lucky to have the night off from work so that you could just go home and relax. Wrapping up the last of your work, you checked your watch and realized you had lost track of the time immersed in your workload.

You stood, placing the papers inside your briefcase when you heard a melancholy tune floating in the air. It was only slight, but you could hear the sound of the piano. You weren't sure if you should've ran out of the school as quickly as you could because as far as you thought it was just you and the janitor left in the school. So the janitor plakyed piano?

"Heh," you muttered through a smile.

When you opened the door of the office, the sad but alluring music seemed to have gotten louder and it was drawing you in. The curiosity of who was playing this beautiful melody started to eat away at your sensibility. Setting your briefcase case down in the door way, you headed towards the music room where you knew the only grand piano in the school resided, naturally.

The door to the music room was ajar, but not open far enough for you to peer in at the pianist. You frowned as you thought the janitor was clearly wasting his talent cleaning a school. The piece lasted a few more minutes and when it ended you felt a little empty and emotional, you could feel the musician's woe and despair. You turned to leave when the door to the music room opened. You turned around to quickly apologize to the janitor for invading his privacy when you froze. Standing in front of you was the green eyed, silver haired hot head you disliked immensely in highschool. Both your eyes went wide in unison.

"G-Gokudera," you stammered with surprise. He clenched his fist and furrowed his brow. Anger clouded his face. You took a step back instinctively and raised your hands in defense.

"I-I uh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude."

His face softened a little. "Tch", came the sound he made when he clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth in annoyance. "What are you doing here, stupid woman?"

It was your turn to clench your fists. How this person made you so angry with his constant arrogance. "I could ask you the same thing," you answered with anger, but your tone faltered.

He clucked his tongue again and brushed passed you, heading down the hallway.

Against your will, your legs began to move towards him, following his lead. He looked behind him to see you on his heels and he rolled his eyes.

"Quit following me," he growled.

You blew through your pursed lips. "I'm not following you, my bag is at the nurses office. Don't flatter yourself." You instantly regretted the words as they floated out of your mouth. He stopped and turned around.

"The nurses office?" His tone held a sense of intrigue.

You raised an eyebrow in puzzlement. "Yes."

He looked out the windows lining the corridor walls. You followed his gaze to the beautiful orange and pink streaked sky with the setting of the sun.

"You play beautifully," you added in hopes of lessening his oncoming verbal assault. You sincerely meant it. He clicked his tongue again and you noticed a soft pink blush dust his cheeks. It made his green orbs stand out against the orange glow from the sun. What was this? You felt some sort of twinge in your heart. The person standing in front of you didn't remind you of the 15 year old angry teenager you first met six years ago. He looked at you and this time there was no anger, no arrogance, no annoyance. He blew a strand of silver hair out of his face. This was totally out of his character. He was almost...attractive. Did you really just think that? This made you blush a little too. Quickly trying to hide it, you rushed past him toward the office and grabbed your bag.

wait!" he called. You stopped your brisk walk down the hall and turned. "I wouldn't be forgiven if he ever found out I was...short...with you." He avoided your eyes and you could tell he was annoyed at having to say anything apologetic but did it for him anyways. Tsuna.

You recalled the day he scolded Gokudera in these very halls for the way he treated you.

You smiled and sighed. "How is he anyways?" Gokudera started to move toward you, still avoiding your stare.

"He's doing good, got his affairs in order. Of course, being his right hand man," he jabbed a thumb at himself, "I helped guide him on his true path." His voice was full of admiration, not arrogance as you thought it would be. You figured 'right hand man' was code for 'best friend'.

"That's nice," you say sweetly. "Maybe we could have that lunch date sometime." You saw the tempered silverette's face cloud over again.

"As if-" he began in his usual tone but then stopped himself. "He's really busy, he doesn't have much time for anything," Gokudera added coolly.

You felt as if there was something more behind his reply but decided not to question it. After all, it wasn't a natural occurrence that Gokudera would be civilized to another human being.

You smiled again, this time to let him know you had nothing more to say to him."Okay, well, please let him know I said hello and that I wish him well." Something shifted in his eyes and he looked out the window again.

"Yeah, okay."

You felt really frustrated, trying to be nice to a person you just wanted to kick was exhausting. But you guessed that's the way he felt about you. Except you had never given him a reason to dislike you. You didn't bother to say goodbye, you just hurried out of Namimori as quickly as you could to avoid any more awkward conversations.

* * *

Later that week you were unable to get that sorrowful melody Gokudera had played a few days prior out of your head. You couldn't get the image of him blushing in the dusk lit hallway of Namimori. You couldn't get him off your mind at all. It made you feel like scrubbing your brain free of these memories with bleach. You didn't want to think of Gokudera like that, you knew differently, the way he was at the school wasn't him. He was only being civil toward you because of Tsuna. You thought of him at the piano again. Was there more to Gokudera you were overlooking because of his off putting exterior? Was there some loneliness, some sadness that was deep in Gokudera's heart? It kind of made sense to you now, his overly excessive angst. He was trying to protect a much more fragile Gokudera on the inside.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a playful voice attempting to place an order of drinks at the bar you were stationed behind. You set the glass you were drying down and turned. You saw a tall Japanese man with hazel eyes and stark black hair smiling down on you. You took note of a deep laceration on his chin that was just starting to scar over. You thought he looked familiar but couldn't figure it out.

"I'm sorry," you say with a nervous laugh. "Could you repeat that?"

"Haha," he laughed, running his hand through his hair.

Suddenly it dawned on you. It was Yamamoto Takeshi! "_Yamamoto?_"

"Oh!" His eyes widening with realization. "It's you, (Y/N)!"

**Gokudera's POV**

He looked over at the you behind the counter, frustrated that the baseball idiot picked the one bar in town that had you in it.

After his run in with you at the school, he couldn't get you out of his head, the same words "_You play beautifully._" repeating like a record skipping .

He didn't like this feeling, he didn't understand it. But as he watched you laugh with Yamamoto, he felt a twinge of jealousy flare from deep in his gut. He had never seen you laugh like that around him, you were always so timid. He supposed it was because he was always short tempered but the truth was he didn't have an interest in stupid women, women at all for that matter, he never had the time. Sure there had been girls, lots of them, the Vongola were privy to flocks of them that he would put between the sheets and send home the next morning. None of them sparked an interest in him like you had, he couldn't even remember their faces.

He lit a cigarette and took a long drag, savoring the tabacco and exhaling a billow of smoke through his nostrils. He thought about going over to the bar, yelling at the baseball freak for taking so long but really it was just an excuse to see you. He clicked his tongue of the roof of his mouth and took another pull on his cigarette.

_No_, he thought. It was safer to stay here and not be noticed. He didn't want to feel any of those surging emotions he was beginning to have every time he thought of you. The faster he forgot about you, the better. He didn't need you to affect his job performance. He thought he'd take home another random, faceless girl and use her to erase your blushing face from his memory.

Thinking that made him feel a little guilty and these feelings, they were starting to make him itch with insanity. He was a man of logic and feeling this way about someone he barely knew was illogical.

Taking a third, long haul of his cigarette he decided he was going to get drunk. Get drunk and forget your face that way and if he brought home a girl it would be out of a drunken stupor, a inebriated mistake. He couldn't feel guilty for that.

Yamamoto returned with the drinks, his lips spread wide into a stupid grin.

"What took you so god damned long, yakyū baka?!" he shouted, snatching the glass from his rather annoying partner.

Yamamoto laughed and said, "Hey, did you know that (Y/N) works here? She's studying -"

Gokudera cut him off. "I don't know who that is and I don't care about that. When is shibafu headdo supposed to get here? I need someone less annoying to entertain me. Che, and even _he's _annoying. Why am I surrounded by morons?" He dragged on his cigarette, blowing the smoke angrily out of his nostrils.

Yamamoto rolled his eyes and grinned. "I've got to let Tsuna know she works here."

Gokudera shot him a glare hot enough to melt through metal. "Do not distract Juudaime. Reborn-san clearly said he needs to focus on his training." Yamamoto's lips twitched into a small frown. "Yeah, you're right."

Gokudera turned his attention towards you again, he watched as you adjusted your crisp, white blouse and flipped back your (h/c) hair off your shoulder, tucking it behind your ear. He thought you looked cute like that. Realizing where his mind was wandering, he growled and took another swig of his drink, now more determined to immerse himself in the alcohol that would help him forget.


	3. Chapter III

**CHAPTER III**

* * *

It was now the end of your shift and you left the bar through the back door, locking it. The cool air felt good on your skin. Your feet throbbed and you were running on two red eye espressos and three hours of sleep. You couldn't wait to get home.

You threw the keys in your bag and started your walk towards the university campus where you lived in a small apartment. The roads weren't very well lit but this was your home, Namimori felt safe to you. You wrapped your arms around yourself as the cool air started to give you a chill when you heard foodsteps close behind you. You were a little frightened but tried to shake it off and quickened your pace.

It wasn't long before the footsteps sped up, the was a tight grip on your shoulder and you were pulled into an alley. Before you could shout there was a hand over your mouth while the other pushed you down.

Something gleamed in the pale moonlight and you stared wide eyed when you realize it was a knife. Your assailant holds it to your neck and tells you if you make a sound he's going to slice your pretty little throat.

You're tough, you're not going to be silenced that easily and you thrash underneath his cold and clammy hands groping at you. You hiss obscenities at him, your language never being so foul. You squirm violently, the knife has nicked you several times and you could feel hot, sticky blood running down your neck.

"Oi! Get the hell off her, you perverted fucker!"

Your heart fluttered and stopped, the familiar harsh, crass tone that rang in your ears had never made you feel so happy.

Before you knew it, Gokudera had beaten this man within an inch of his life, only stopping because you pleaded for him to do so. You couldn't have a man's death and another's imprisonment weighing heavily on your shoulders. The trauma of tonight will be enough.

He breathed heavily, his chest and shoulders rising and falling rapidly. His hands, shirt and even his hair was stained maroon with the man's blood.

You were still frozen on the ground looking from your attacker to Gokudera frantically, trying to wrap your head around the last ten minutes that had seemed like hours. He looked down at you and his eyes widened at the sight of you, your white blouse matted with your blood. He rushed to your side and gripped your shoulders, harder than he realized and you winced. He frowned.

You locked eyes and for a moment this man whom you despised had become your savior.

You brushed a lock of his tainted hair out of his face and tucked it behind his ear. His brow furrowed in confusion but he didn't have some ill or quick tempered remark to spit out as you invaded his personal space. A pale shade of pink brushed his cheeks.

"T-thank you," you whisper, your voice a little hoarse from all the yelling.

Gokudera's cheeks flushed bright pink. "Well I was just passing through." He cleared his throat and stood, extending his hand to you. You grabbed it and stood, but your legs wobbled and buckled underneath you and you fell into Gokudera. He fumbled you in his arms, attempting to sturdy you on your feet, his face now a shade of red that reminded you of sunburn.

He touched your neck and frowned. "You should have a doctor bandage you up," he said with mild concern.

"I'll be fine," you said shakily. "I can bandage myself, they're only shallow cuts." You steadied yourself and dusted off your skirt, noticing your knees and shins had been scraped up too, as well as your elbows and forearms. You really weren't fine, but you didn't want to lose your composure in front of a man that was so judgmental, even though he had just saved your life. Well, your humility and honor at least.

"I'll... I'll walk you home," Gokudera said.

You thought you heard a slight obligation in his tone. You let out a short laugh, a snort almost. You didn't need his obligatory assistance.

"No, I'm fine, really. I can make it home myself."

You searched the ground for your purse and saw that it was lodged underneath the large body of the unconscious pervert.

Gokudera clicked his tongue, making a "Tch" sound. "You stupid woman," he muttered.

You used your foot to roll the man over to retrieve your purse. You also had to refrain from stomping on his genitals. You began walking toward your home once again, ignoring the fact that the scrapes on your skin were burning and that you were covered in blood.

"O-oi! I was serious!" Gokudera ran to catch up to you. "As a man I can't let you walk home by yourself. Especially after what just happened. Are you sure you're alright, you don't need a doctor?"

You laughed mockingly at his out of character rambling. "I don't need a man to walk me home, Gokudera-_san_."

"Tch... Would you stop being so... so difficult?" His frustration brought a smile to lips.

You didn't reply and allowed him to continue to walk you home, the both of you walking in silence. You felt tears brimming but held them back several times, you didn't want to cry in front of him. When you arrived at home, you felt relieved that you did have an escort, and the way you felt right now, you were glad it was him. He followed you into the building and took the elevator up to your floor. Now that you were so close to home the threat of a breakdown was imminent. You fumbled with the items in your purse trying to find the keys and then it happened. The tears began to fall as you remembered the attack vividly. Gokudera leaned over your shoulder to see your dirt and blood stained face streaked with tears.

"O-oi! Are you alright?" He growled at his question and muttered, "Of course you're not alright." He took the keys from your trembling hands and opened up the door to your apartment, leading you in and locking the door behind him.

You just stood there, almost in a state of shock as waves of emotions flooded you and you allowed yourself to cry, you allowed yourself to feel. You didn't care if he saw you now or what he thought of you. He didn't say anything and much to your surprise, fetched you a glass of water and headed to your bathroom where he washed his hands and face and ran you a hot bath.

You stood in your entry way still, face in your hands, delicate sobs escaping you. He pried your hands from your face and wiped away your tears. His mouth formed a stern, thin line, a look of disapproval passed across his face. You stopped crying for a minute, your (e/c) eyes bright red and puffy and though you had just been through a traumatic experience, a vain thought had entered your mind. You didn't want him to see you in such a unflattering way. You sniffed, wiped the tears from your face and looked into his beautiful eyes and felt a shy smile curl your mouth. His cheeks were flushed again and he turned away from you.

You left him alone and headed to your bathroom to clean yourself up. After about an hour of thinking and crying, you finally left the bathroom dressed and checked your living room for him.

You saw him passed out in your armchair, silver hair cascading over his face. You smiled at the sight, he looked like he was hugging himself. You noticed the several twine and rubber bands he had on each wrist, the adornment of rings on several of his fingers. Following that you noticed the bruises and scrapes he had covering his knuckles he got from defending your honor. You grabbed a blanket and draped it over him.

You didn't understand it, but your body started to move on it's own. Your hand reached for the listless locks and brushed them out of his face, gently tucking it behind his ear. You found yourself leaning over and placing your lips on his smooth forehead. Your heart skipped a beat and you feared he'd wake and scold you for doing something unpredictable that caught him off guard, but he didn't stir.

You were unsure of the way you saw him in this new light, you were apprehensive of these feelings that crept up around your heart, squeezing it and stopping it whenever you thought of him. You felt safe around him, even though he was harsh and crude and made you shrink back at his hostility, you knew there was a reason for that. A reason why he needed to guard his heart.

You fell asleep on the sofa opposite of the armchair, lost in thoughts of him. The next morning when you woke, the blanket you gave him had been wrapped around you but he was gone. You felt a dredge of disappointment but expected as much from him.

You decided to take the day off of school and work and just recuperate from last night. You wanted to sort your feelings out that were growing for Gokudera because you knew nothing would ever come from it. He was reckless and hot headed, he was arrogant and not capable of empathy, at least you didn't think so. Being with him would be toxic. Thinking of him that way would only be hazardous to your health. But in the days to come, he was everywhere you were.

He wasn't, in actuality, but you were starting to see his silver hair standing out in a crowd, hearing his voice right next to your ear, hoping it was him at the end of that curling smoke, looking at you with those intense viridian orbs. You couldn't shake him, the memories of him were etched in your mind like a permanent tattoo.

* * *

**Gokudera's POV**

* * *

You were everywhere. He saw your face on every girl, smelled your perfume even over his desperate attempt to mask it in chain smoking. He heard your name being called by everyone that spoke. Worst of all was he could still feel your soft lips on his forehead,

That kiss he had replayed so many times in his mind it was making his head spin. He had wanted to pull you down on top of him and kiss you with a passion he had never felt for anyone else. But he was scared. Too scared of rejection, a nasty thing that plagued him his entire life for being different. He didn't like feeling vulnerable, he was a man with strength and great resolve and succumbing to a one sided love would be too reckless, even for him.

"Man," he growled, smashing a cigarette into the ashtray on his desk. He had to stop thinking of you like this.


	4. Chapter IV

**CHAPTER ****VI**

* * *

It was 3 am when you heard the loud banging from your front door. It woke you out of bed. The knocking continued, becoming more persistent each rap. You tiredly looked out the peephole to see a mass of silver hair gleaming in the dull light of your floor's hallway. You only knew one person with that colour hair and now he had peaked your interest showing up at this hour. You unlocked the door and opened it.

There he was, leaned up against the doorframe, propped up on one arm. His hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, dressed in black jeans obscurely low on his hips, an off-white coloured dress shirt and black tie. He wore over top a black hooded jacket that had a large gold crest with a bullet in its center on the shoulder. He looked up at you, his eyes a little hazy but there was a light in them, some kind of sparkle behind the glossyness. He bore a steamy, smug grin.

Was he _drunk?_

"Gokudera!" you say with surprise. "What ar-"

Suddenly he's embracing you and his lips smashed on to yours. You took a step back and he kicked the front door shut. At this point there was no thinking involved, your body moved to its own accord because it knew exactly what it wanted and that was Gokudera. Your hands moved up to his hair, sliding the band out and grabbing fistfuls of the silver tresses. He tasted like whiskey and cigarettes but you didn't care.

He moved his lips down your chin, your throat, your collar bone. He slid the strap of your night dress off your shoulder and placed hard but delectable kisses on your skin, sending tremors of pleasure down your spine. You found yourself peeling off his jacket and unbuttoning his dress shirt. You pulled his necktie off and threw it to the floor. Entangled in each other's arms, your movements had become fluid and full of fiery passion.

You felt your back up against a wall and Gokudera took this opportunity to press his body harder against yours, his hands running the course of your torso stopping occasionally to gently squeeze your supple breasts. He grabbed your arms and pinned them to the wall, placing a knee in between your thighs, brushing up against the cotton fabric of your panties. He angrily bit and tugged at your flesh, every so often pausing to run his tongue along your ear and neck down to the hard, erect nipples on your breasts. His hot, uneven breath continued to make every part of you tingle.

You could hear your own breaths becoming soft and shallow. He released your arms so that he could grip your waist and grind you into the bulge in his tight, black jeans. Your fingers traced his biceps, traced his lean abdominal muscles. Following his lead, you grabbed hold of his jutted out hip bones and pressed him harder against you feeling the heat from the friction against your inner thigh. You slowly trace along his abdomen, his jeans riding so low on his hips that you were aware of the neat trail of hair that led from his navel to what stood erect beneath the layers. You traced along the trail and stopped at the buckle of his belt.

**It wasn't fair that he had more clothes on than you.**

You pried open his belt and unbuttoned his jeans. His kisses became more aggressive, he started to nip at your neck and shoulder, moving down to your chest where he gently bit into your creamy skin on either side of your breasts, leaving tiny purple bruises. Without hesitation, you reached for his erection, caressing and stroking his shaft while your free hand was tangled in his hair.

He hooks his thumbs into the elastic of your panties and slowly drags them off, kneeling down to slide them off your feet where he licks a stripe from your knee to your inner thigh stopping to kiss you across your thighs, the small patch of pubic hair and up your abdomen, sliding his tongue up to swirl around your nipples and kissed you up to your mouth where he ran his tongue along your lips before kissing you again. His tongue on your skin made you twitch with pleasure. His hands moved down to your center where he began rubbing your wet and heated core. His touch made you writhe in ecstasy.

"Goku...dera," you breathed.

He brought his lips up to your ear and whispered, "_Hayato._" He nipped at your earlobe.

"_Ora fusa per me, bella,_" he said seductively in his native language, the rich words rolling off his tongue.

You didn't understand but his harsh, throaty voice made the words sound so alluring. Your hips jerked under his nimble fingers. Soft moans escape your lips in short, heavy breaths that had Gokudera smirking in victory. Your body was begging for him, your legs were weak and trembling. Gokudera leaned down and kissed you, this time a little less aggressive, his tongue connecting with yours. He bit your lower lip and pulled your hair back so that your neck was taut and he continued to nip at your goosebumped flesh.

_"Hay-Hayato,_" you moan in desperation, your body can't take much more of this teasing.

The sound of his given name being uttered by a frenzied you sends him into overdrive. He wrapps his arms around your naked back and hoists you up, sliding himself into you and easing you down on him. A cry erupted from your throat as his thick erection fills you, stretching out your virgin walls. It stung and burned a little as he pushed in deep. Nevertheless it was _pleasurable pain._

His hips rock at a paced rhythm as he uses his strength to hold you up and then bring you closer to him, driving himself deeper into you. With each thrust it hurts a little less and let him guide you up and down on his shaft. You grip his sculpted biceps and you moan for more.

He takes you to the arm chair and sits in it, pulling you on top of him where you take control. He holds your hips tightly but lets you do the work as he plants kisses in between your breasts. He pushes up into you every time you seat him, pulling your hips down hard each time.

He lays you down on the carpet and kisses from your lips to your thighs and in between and he doesn't stop until you beg for it once more. He enters you again and you call let out a breathy _"Fuck_". You look up at him and he's watching you with his gorgeous green eyes, biting his lip to keep him from smiling. His look makes you turn your head to hide the blush in your cheeks.

* * *

**Gokudera's POV **

* * *

He watches your face. He likes the way you bite your lower lip through euphoric moans, he likes the shade red you turn when your eyes flutter open and you catch him gazing at you with a triumphant grin on his face.

He likes the way you call his name, the way you tug on his hair, the way he fills you and you two mold together like pieces of a puzzle.

He likes the way you hungrily grind your hips against him.

Your cries get louder and this excites him, he slows down but pushes harder while he aggressively tells you, "_Urlare, urlare!_"

It seems as if he's reached his limit and so have you, your body is shaking and shivering underneath him.

* * *

You lean into his chest and grip his flexing biceps, gently digging your fingernails into his skin. Gokudera pushes himself deep inside you, hitting a spot that makes your legs buck and your back arch. Your muscles tightenen around him, a tingling feeling jerks your body from your toes and up your spine.

"_Venire per me_," he breathes heavily in your ear.

You let go, crying out his name, an explosion of euphoria and adrenaline wash over you making your toes curl and your body shake. He lets out a soft and husky moan as he pulls you into him, his hair falling in damp, limp strands framing his structured jaw.

You feel him become soft inside you, the warmth trickling down your thighs. The two of you remained entwined in eachother's arms, greedily sucking in oxygen as if you had forgotten to do so for the last hour. He kissed your neck and shoulder, his damp locks brushing your skin giving you goosebumps. Your body still rocked with delectation. You could feel his heart thudding against his chest. The melody of his heartbeat and his soft, erratic breaths seemed to have a hypnotic effect on you, causing you to relax until you were asleep.

You awoke some hours later, covered up on your sofa, but he wasn't next to you. Your heart sank. You closed your eyes, reminiscing his lips, his touch, his smell; the memories sending a tingle down in your depths. You let out a shaky, exasperated breath knowing you'd feel this way until you saw him again but you knew that probably was never going to happen.

**But it did**.

It had been almost a month since he tore through you, sending your body into oblivion. He showed up at your door, roughly at the same time and manner, beckoning you to come to him. This time he was hungry, his kisses were rough, his nips at your skin were hard and sharp, leaving small crescent shaped bruises.

He tugs on your hair, wrapping it around his fist and tilting your head back, licking the exposed flesh and whispering lustful obscenities in Italian. He takes you from behind, bent over your kitchen table, his one hand pulling your hair and the other gripping your hip.

You succumbed to him, coming down from your euphoric high by listening to his rhythmic heartbeat. And just like before, he was gone before you woke. It went on like this for two more months and it was getting hard to focus on anything else.

You craved his touch like an addict craved a drug, you longed to feel his hands exploring every inch of your body, teasing you until you begged for it. His visits became more frequent, always around the same time and never sober. You felt like his dirty little secret but that was alright because for those few hours he was consumed in you and nothing else.

He had taken you on almost every surface in your home, in every position. His actions were never predictable but the end result was always the same. He never stayed the night. You'd attempt to stay awake after he would break your body into a trembling, hot mess but being with him felt safe even if you knew better and it was never long before the comfort of him put you to sleep.

The way Gokudera made you feel was becoming toxic. The constant want of him underneath you or on top of you, the mere presence of him was having an affect on your body. You found yourself missing school and work, not sleeping unless he was there - which was still only two or three nights out of the week.

You wanted him to speak to you while he was there, you wanted him to be sober for once, you wanted to wake up next to him. You never wanted to say anything about any of it for fear that it would stop. You knew these dangerous feelings that held your heart hostage meant you were falling in _l__ove_ with him. It was dangerous indeed, because you knew it was strictly one sided.


	5. Chapter V

**CHAPTER V**

* * *

**Gokudera's POV**

* * *

Gokudera paced his office, hands shoved into his jeans' pockets, cigarette dangling from his mouth.

He felt this overwhelming and supressing weight oh his chest whenever he thought of you. He itched to be pressed up against your body, inside your warmth. There wasn't enough alcohol he could consume to take the edge off but it lessened his inhibitions all the same.

There was always that voice nagging in the back of his mind that this was going to be the time you told him to fuck off.

He could tell you wanted him, at least sexually. Your (e/c) were always filled with an intense hunger, a greediness that made him stiff in recollection. The problem was you never spoke to him, you never asked him to stick around or complain that he'd leave before you'd wake like the other girls did. He couldn't figure you out and that made him nervous.

Did he really want more though? Could he actually be capable of loving someone else? He loved his boss, yes, but that was a completely platonic love. It was a love for a man who he devoted his life to, whom he greatly respected. Could he divide his life to protect you the way he swore to protect the tenth? No... he couldn't. That was his job, his reason for living, he couldn't allow distractions that could potentially put the Tenth's life in danger.

"Yo, Aho 'Dera haha! Have you seen I-Pin? She stole Lambo-san's gum drops!" Lambo's shrill voice cut through his deep thoughts.

"Che!" Gokudera reached for something to throw at the stupid cow. "Aho Ushi! How many times have I told you not to barge into my office?!"

"Ne ne," Lambo - currently eleven years old but no more mature than when he was five - pulled down the skin under his eye and stuck out his tongue. "Gokudera, do you actually do any work in here? Ah ha ha! Baka 'Dera! Dame 'Dera!"

Gokudera's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. He spotted a a stapler, grabbed it and threw it at Lambo. He missed on purpose.

"Ahaha! Aho 'Dera missed Lambo-san..." he began singing things that rhymed with "-san".

Gokudera clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, knowing he'd get scolded if he did anything to the stupid cow. At times like these he wished Reborn was here to swat him down like the annoying fly that he was.

"Oh la la! I-Pin! Come back with Lambo-san's candy!" Lambo shouted, running down the hall of the Vongola base.

"Man!" Gokudera uttered through his gritted teeth.

"Gokudera-kun...? What was that all about?"

He looked up to see the tenth in the doorway.

"Juudaime! Uh, the stupid cow was just looking for something."

The tenth sighed and picked up the stapler. "This?" he asked doubtfully.

Gokudera let out a nervous laugh. "I was stapling some papers and my hand slipped."

He grinned and shook his head, stepping into Gokudera's office to return the stapler to his desk. "Gokudera...Is everything okay?"

Gokudera glanced over at his boss in slight bewilderment. _Juudaime shouldn't be worried about me!_ he thought.

"Of course, Juudaime! I'm pumped for tomorrow's mission. As your right hand man, I swear to protect you with my life!"

The tenth laughed. Gokudera got really animated when he was passionate about something.

"I don't mean that... I've noticed you're barely sleeping, coming in at dawn...I'm just worried about you."

Gokudera's eyes went wide. He could see the concern on the tenth's face.

He took a short bow and looked up at his boss. "I'm terribly sorry for making you worry, Juudaime! I... I... I'll sort everything out," was all he could say.

"Okay," he said. He knew Gokudera would never talk about what was going on in his mind. He let out a sigh.

"Juudaime?"

"There is something... that I wanted to ask you."

Gokudera's brow furrowed in confusion. "Of course, Juudaime!"

"Why haven't you told me about (Y/N) yet?" His tone was notably more serious.

Now Gokudera's were wide with shock and he took a step back. "H-how...?"

The tenth's** hyper intuition** was good, but not_ that_ good.

"Yamamoto told me," he said, eyeing. the silverette. Something about Gokudera's body language was off. He looked to shocked, he kept fidgeting.

"But he..."

"He told me you guys ran into her at that bar, that she works there. He goes there sometimes to visit her."

"Che... that idiot," Gokudera pouted.

"She told him about what happened to her that night... "

Gokudera's heart stopped. He gaped at him. The tenth's eyes were soft.

"She didn't go into details but she said that you saved her."

Gokudera's cheeks flared and he turned his head to avoid his boss. "Tch, stupid woman! It's not like I was trying to be her hero or anything," he said with angst.

The tenth let out a small laugh. "Don't be so modest."

"Che! ... it's not modesty. Honestly, what a stupid woman. Does she tell her life story to everyone who'll listen?" Gokudera couldn't help but notice the jealousy in his voice. That made him even more angry.

He was annoyed and pissed off because you didn't talk to him about it. You didn't talk to him about _anything_. And here was that fucking yakyu baka coming in on Dino's bright white fucking horse trying to play your knight in shining armour.

He was jealous that Yamamoto was there for you when he should have been. He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth.

"Gokudera-kun?" the tenth asked worriedly.

"It's nothing, Juudaime," he said lowly, eyes hooded. "Sorry again for making you worry."

* * *

Tsuna's chocolate coloured eyes stared at the silverette in confusion. He understood that Gokudera was the type to easily riled up but this sudden change in moods around him was unusual.

"Excuse me, Juudaime, there's something I need to do."

Tsuna's eyes followed the man out of his office, his face grave and his tone low and serious.

_ What did I say?_ Tsuna wondered. He followed Gokudera out of his office and down the corridor of the base.

* * *

Gokudera was fuming, he wasn't sure who he was more angry at.

He did know, though. He was angry with himself. But being the hot head who acted now and asked questions later, he wasn't thinking logically at the moment.

He heard the idiot's vexatious laugh coming from the kitchen. The tall and lean rain guardian stood a foot from the entryway with his back to Gokudera.

Kyoko Sasagawa noticed him first. "Gokudera!" she said happily. "We were just-"

Yamamoto turned to greet him and Gokudera grabbed him by his shirt collar. "Teme!" he shouted hoarsely.

"Gokudera?" Kyoko asked cautiously.

"Gokudera-kun!" the tehnth shouted, entering the kitchen.

Yamamoto looked a bit surprised and confused. "Go-Gokudera?"

"You stay the fuck away from her, you bastard," Gokudera said, already regretting his choice of words. He didn't want to come off as some jealous, love sick jerk, but that's exactly what he sounded like.

"Gokudera, stop!" the tehth demanded and Gokudera released Yamamoto, shoving him aside.

"What... who are you talking about?" asked Yamamoto. "Tsuna?"

"Tch," Gokudera spat and stormed out of the kitchen.


	6. Chapter VI

**CHAPTER VI **

* * *

You were sitting at your kitchen table studying for one of your exams when there was a hurried knock at your door. You checked your watch, it read 7:42. The only person that showed up unannounced was Gokudera but this was too early for him to be stopping by.

Besides, as much as you didn't want to, you were going to wean yourself off of him. No. Quit him cold. That was the best way to cure an addiction.

Another knock, this time it was louder and harder. It was more of a pounding when you thought about it.

Curiously, you went to the door and peered through the peephole. It was black. You frowned. You were apprehensive, you didn't want to open the door, but by now you knew the sounds of his fists pounding on your door.

You didn't want to admit it but excitement crept up inside you as you opened the door. His face caught you off guard right away. His cheeks were bright red, his eyes were narrowed and his mouth was twisted in a angry frown.

"You...," he started. "What are you doing talking to that fucking idiot?"

"Eh?" you asked in utter confusion.

He stormed inside your apartment and sat in the Paisley patterned wingback arm chair. Memories of you and him in that chair sparked a fire deep inside you.

He looked angry yet bashful, you hadn't seen him look like this before. You weren't sure if you should say anything or what to say, rather, so you just stood there. He sat there steaming, the tension becoming almost tangible in the atmosphere. Finally you made your move to sit on the sofa opposite of him. You looked at him quizzically, waiting for him to tell you what he was talking about.

Finally he said, "Why... why won't you talk to me?"

The words made your heart stop, caused your breath to hitch in your throat. His eyes flickered over to you and they looked sorrowful, then he quickly averted your gaze once again.

"Gokudera..." was all you could manage.

There was a long pause. Too long. He was fidgeting, then he stood. "Tch... what an idiot. I shouldn't have come here," he said angrily. He headed for your door but you quickly stood and blocked his way. You threw your arms around him, inhaling the sweet smell of his skin.

"Idiot...," you said with a smile.

_ As if I'd rather be with anyone else..._

You heard his heart slow into a paced beat, calmed and relaxed, the way his heart always sounded when you were in his arms.

You heard him breathe a sigh of relief and he kissed your forehead.

You took his hand and lead him to your bedroom, the only place you had never been with him. You were going to show him just how much you wanted to be with him. You wanted to erase that look of sorrow he held in his eyes, the anger written on his face, the insecurities he held in his heart.

You stood before your bed and looked up into his eyes, the light that made them so vibrant already returning.

You smiled at him and pulled him close, kissing his soft lips. When he returned your kiss it was gentle and passionate, nothing like the insatiable Gokudera that came to you all the other times.

You held the kiss, his hands steadied on your shoulders, your hands entwined in his soft, silver locks. You moved on to your bed, pulling Gokudera with you, your lips never leaving his. You let him come in between you, wrapping your arms around his neck. You could feel the already hard bulge in his jeans as he pressed his body against yours.

Though he made you crazy with desire and you wanted to rip his clothes off here and now and have him rock you into a euphoric coma, you were going to take it slow this time. You were going to let him know that _he_ was all you cared about.

He was following your lead, not losing control and it made you feel like he wanted to show you the same thing.

It wasn't long before the both of you had shed your clothing and he swiftly took hold of your hips and entered you.

* * *

Gokudera moved slow, penetrating deeper inside of you. He propped himself up on one arm, sliding the other underneath you, pulling you closer into him. He rocked you slowly at first, rolling his hips, pushing into you until he hilted and he would do it again and again. He kept hitting the spot that made you tick but you didn't want it to be over this fast, you wanted to keep him like this.

You put your hand up to his cheek and this time you weren't too shy to meet his gaze. You brushed the hair out of his face and moaned softly.

You watched his milky skin turn a dusty shade of rose. He turned his head to hide it and kissed the palm of your hand. This made you blush a little too and you saw him smile and then bite the corner of his lip.

You had never seen him smile.

_ It was the sexiest thing you had ever seen_.

He leaned in and kissed your forehead, your nose and then your lips. Then he nuzzled into your neck and moaned softly into your ear. Electric currents snapped through your body from your toes to the fingers that clutched his beautiful hair.

You liked him like this.

You liked the sexual deviant side of him too.

But you _loved_ him like this.

You pressed your fingers into his shoulder blades and hitched your pelvis so that he filled you completely, sending convulsions though you as you reveled in his lovemaking. He wasn't rough or quick, he wasn't cruel and made you beg, he wasn't cursing and whispering smutty euphemisms to you in Italian or any other language. The only things that left his lips were your name and his alluring raspy groans.

_ This time it wasn't about the quick pleasure, the need or the lust. This time it was about just you and him and how much you completed one another._

He quickened his thrusts, still pressing deep into your depths and you rolled your hips in unison until you could feel the heat of an orgasm coiling in your belly. He kept his face buried in the juncture of your neck and shoulder, breathing your name every so often into your ear, nipping at your earlobe and stealing kisses from your open mouth that moaned for him and only for him.

Before you knew it, you were sinking your fingernails into his flesh, screaming his name as you came apart, exploding in such a way that left you dazed.

He had come undone too, collapsing on top of you, panting in your ear.

Your body vibrated like it had been hit with a shock wave.

He laid down beside you, still struggling to catch his breath. He put an arm across his face, shielding his eyes.

A sudden panic pulled at your insides. Was he okay? Wasnhe going to leave? No, you told yourself. You didn't want to think that.

Gokudera used his other arm that was still underneath you to bring you closer to him, pushing your head gently down on his chest. "Sleep," he said.

"But I-"

"Shh."

You pouted. He peeked out at you underneath his arm and smiled again. His smile made your heart flutter in your ribcage, you had never seen such a beautiful expression on this normally stoic face.

"Gokudera..."

"Hm?"

"Will you...will you stay the night this time?"

There was a long, unsettling pause. Finally, he kissed your forehead and said, "Mhm."

And not long after that you fell asleep.

When you woke you were relieved to still be in his arms. You stole a glance at his sleeping face and felt your heart melt. He had such a look of content on his face, an array of silver strands spilled over his eyes gleamed in the sunlight that peaked through your bedroom curtains. You smiled to yourself and closed your eyes, your head bobbing with the soft rise and fall of his chest. Not to long after he began to stir, stretching and pulling you close. Suddenly he jerked up, causing you do the same.

"Gokudera...?"

He looked over at you with wide but tired eyes. "What time is it?"

You checked your watch. "Nine forty-seven...?"

"Shit!" He rushed out of bed and began dressing in a hurry. You watched him, puzzled. He zipped up his jeans and started to button up his shirt. He looked down at you apologetically.

"I have to go," he said quickly, grabbing his jacket and stumbling while he put on his boots. He pulled his hair back and tied it with a rubber band from around his wrist.

You were glad to wake up next to him but you didn't think he'd be leaving this early and in this much of a hurry to leave you. It left you feeling disappointed and kind of lonely.

He leaned in and kissed your forehead. "I'm sorry, I'll try to come back tonight."

You looked up at him, still confused as to why he had to rush out so early on a Saturday. "O-okay," you said.

And with that he left your bedroom and you heard the front door open and shut a second later. At least he said he would come back, you thought. This made you smile. Maybe things could work out with you and Gokudera after all. He wasn't at all what you thought he would be.


	7. Chapter VII

**CHAPTER VII**

* * *

It did end up working out with Gokudera in the end, after all, five years later you were still madly in love with the man that you once despised with a passion in highschool. Lots of things had changed in that time, the biggest being your career choice.

Five years ago you would never have imagined working as a doctor for the mafia. The Vongola Famiglia to be exact.

It happened when Dr. Shamal had taken off on one of his many sexual escapades with the women who threw themselves at him because they thought he was rich (which Gokudera assured you he wasn't) but you didn't know all this at the time. You didn't know anything of Gokudera's activities outside the bubble he kept you in. It happened about a year after the first night he spent with you, though never making it official, because that was Gokudera - never labeling anything- was the night you pretty much became a couple, more then just two people who liked to fuck eachother, which was his way of putting it.

* * *

_The Incident_

Frantic, Yamamoto and Gokudera showed up at your place with a very broken Tsuna, themselves being badly beaten up too. They needed you to tend to his injuries right away and not ask any questions. Trusting your love and worried about Tsuna, you did everything you could, include breaking into a clinic you were working at for supplies. Everyone was on edge, Yamamoto and Gokudera fought a lot and he took a lot of his anger out on you.

He threw things, he broke things and gave you the cold shoulder often, never touching you in front of anyone, never really touching you at all. It was okay then. He was worried about Tsuna, no - it wasn't just worry, it was frantic and desperate and anxious and unsettling. You knew the bond he shared with Tsuna was strong, but you had never seen him like this. He was constantly on edge, chain smoking, refusing treatment, snapping at anyone and everyone.

You insisted that they take Tsuna elsewhere, that you weren't qualified to take care of him. They refused to take Tsuna to a hospital, they didn't want to move him and the hospital would ask too many questions and your place was closer then where they needed to go and with desperate, tear brimmed eyes he begged you because you were the only one he'd trust with his beloved boss's life.

The situation became grim, you weren't sure he'd pull through. You did everything you could and worked so hard, mending the broken bones as best you could, keeping him on a ventilator and just secretly praying that he would get better because you couldn't stand the thought of losing your friend or what was worse, losing Gokudera as well as Tsuna. Something told you if anything were to happen to him here, you'd all be dead because he'd go on a rampage, killing everyone including himself.

Tsuna got through the worst of it and things still didn't calm down between Gokudera and Yamamoto - because Yamamoto seemed to rub Gokudera the wrong way in every way, but nevertheless you saved Tsuna's life.

Gokudera saw you in a whole new light.

* * *

_The Famiglia_

After meeting almost everyone connected to Tsuna from the time he spent recovering in your home, Gokudera told you about the mafia.

"Eh? The mafia? You mean like the Yakuza?" you had asked with a gasp.

"Che!" Gokudera spat. "The Yakuza is a gang full of ruffians and thugs, they're all criminals. They're not the mafia."

"Oh...," you had said quietly, still not understanding the difference.

He explained everything from the beginning, the first generation and the ones that followed and told you that Tsuna was the Vongola Decimo, he was striving to make his generation like the first, an organization set out to help people instead of intimidating and killing like the prior generations.

The "right hand man", the millions of times you've heard "**JUUDAIME!**", all the times he left without telling you where he was going or going days without seeing him, the nights when he showed up full of half healing bruises or fresh cuts and scars, it all made sense now.

* * *

It wasn't long after that Tsuna asked you to join the family under a Reborn's recommendation but against Gokudera's wishes. Even though he protested this by claiming he would get sick of seeing that "stupid woman" twenty four hours a day or that "it was none of your business really" or that "women weren't cut out for the mafia", you eventually accepted.

What made matters worse was that Reborn had told Dr. Shamal to train you. This had Gokudera in an outrage, arguing with Reborn until he finally pointed a gun at him and told Gokudera,

"Tsuna is the boss, he made this decision. Shut up and take it like a man."

Everyone knew all they had to do was play the boss card and Gokudera could argue no more. He wouldn't disagree with the tenth no matter how much he disliked it.

* * *

_The Fallout_

This put a lot of strain on your new relationship with him and you began to realize when he was stressed he never made love to you like he did that very first time. When he was stressed or angry, he could be very cruel and cold, sometimes going beyond just rough sex. He never stayed with you on those nights. He'd always be drunk too, the smell of whiskey and cigarettes heavy on his breath. His eyes were always cold, his mouth turned up into a sneer, the words he'd say to you...

He would make you plead and beg, sometimes never letting you touch him, sometimes biting you so hard he'd leave bruises. A lot of times making you hate yourself for putting up with it because you needed him regardless. You felt by telling yourself he acted this way because he loved you, because he didn't want you to get involved with something so messy so that you wouldn't get hurt that you could justify his actions.

**Still, it didn't feel right**.

That's when you started to doubt you and him again, bringing back original thoughts of how he'd be no good for you. You felt like you should put some distance between the two of you so you trained hard with Shamal, learning his Trident Mosquito technique. You spent a lot of time around Bianchi, knowing with his "Bianchi-phobia" as Tsuna called it, you'd be safe. You helped Kyoko Sasagawa and Haru Miura with daily chores and looking after I-Pin and Lambo when you had the time. You missed him but you needed a break from his torture. It was nearly a six months ongoing and now you barely saw him at all. He had stopped sharing a room with you two weeks before, sleeping in his office. He didn't come to you for anything and when you happened to see each other in passing he'd avoid eye contact, leave the room, set out on a different route and when there was no escape he'd scowl and spit out his annoyed tick and keep on moving past you like a stranger, leaving you feeling empty with only the lingering of his cigarette smoke. You had pretty much given up on the hope that you'd ever be able to fix things with him, things had just gone so wrong, there was no coming back from it and the thought seized your heart, tightened your chest and brought tears to your eyes.

What would you do then?

* * *

_The Past and The Make-Up_

You were working late in your office one night, studying some kind of lab results Giannini had asked you to look over earlier that day when a shadow appeared in the doorway. You looked up to see your perplexing silverette leaning against the door frame, arms crossed, cigarette hanging from his lips.

"Yo," he said nonchalantly, as if the last gut wrenching, twisted and most loneliest six months had never happened.

"Hi..."

He took a drag of his cigarette.

You set your pen down and pushed your (H/C) hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear.

He smirked. "I always loved when you did that," he said.

You noticed he was speaking past tense and dread began to weigh heavily on your heart.

He walked into your office, pulling on his cigarette, blowing out rings of smoke from his mouth. He sat down on the edge of your desk, facing you. You leaned back in your chair. He frowned as he took your drawback was one of wary. He looked away from you then, pulling out a snap purse from his pocket and chucking the cigarette into it. He put it back into his jeans pocket and pulled out a small stick of dynamite, something you were now used to seeing, and began to pass it in between each finger, like one would do with a coin.

"You know," he began, "I have a very dark side to me... When I was little, a woman used to come by our mansion to teach me how to play piano. She was a very beautiful woman and she was a very talented pianist. I remember her being so kind, telling me I had perfect hands to play...Then she just stopped coming altogether. I had always looked forward to spending time with her but she never came back. When I was eight, I happened to be passing by the maids' quarters when I overheard them talking about an accident my mother had beenhi killed in. Confused, I stopped to listen in paranoia that something happened to my mother when another said that Bianchi's mother wasn't my mother. It didn't take a genius to put the pieces together. My father was a mafia boss, he was married and had an affair with a very talented, silver haired pianist who I saw everytime I looked in the mirror."

You listened intently but at the same time you could already feel his pain.

"I ran away from home after that. I learned it was mafia law that my mother had been denied me, only being able to see me those few times she taught me to play. I learned her car had been run off the road, her dying instantly. I hated my father with every fiber of my being and I was determined to never to call myself his son."

He stopped flipping the dynamite and held it in between his thumb and index finger. He stared at it.

"Shamal took me in and taught me a few things here and there but I pretty much raised myself on the streets. He was a useless pervert, more concerned about what was in between a woman's legs than the ten year old boy who just needed someone to guide him.

"No family would except me because I wasn't fully Italian, because I was a bastard child, because not even my own family wanted me. I made a name for myself and eventually the Vongola asked me to freelance for them. It wasn't being part of a family officially, but it helped pay the bills and I thought eventually I'd be able to move up, eventually taking revenge on the piece of shit that killed my mother."

You felt a lump in your throat, tears threatening to fall. "Gokudera..."

"A few years later I get a call from the Vongola's most respected, most feared hitman, Reborn-san. He tells me that there's a candidate for the Vongola Decimo position and that I'm to see if he's worthy of the title. He tells me that if I don't deem him worthy, I can kill him and be next in line for the ninth's candidate. I was all to happy to oblige. I boarded the next plane to Japan where I enrolled in Namimori Middle. At first glance, the tenth seemed weak and unmotivated. He didn't take his situation seriously and that angered me. How could he not be honoured to be a candidate for the Vongola's next boss? Why was he so clueless? After watching him for a few days I determined he wasn't fit to be mafia material, let alone the next Vongola successor. I decided I was going to kill him."

Your eyes went wide. With their relationship the way it was now, it was impossible to believe that Gokudera would hurt Tsuna.

"But I was the one who got cocky. I used too much dynamite in my desperate attempt to rid the world of his pathetic existence and nearly killed myself. Juudaime managed to extinguish every last lit dynamite before any casualties occurred. He saved my life."

You were beginning to understand this complex man. His heart was very guarded and for all these reasons, there was a heavy, angry burden that he carried on his shoulders that tainted this otherwise fragile soul with streaks of viciousness that frightened you immensely.

"I decided to devote my life to becoming the tenth's right hand man realizing I wasn't cut out to be a mafia boss anyway. That first time wasn't the last time Juudaime has saved my life, either. He fights to protect all of us, friend or foe. He's a different kind of man, a man like I've never met before in my life."

He paused for a bit.

"But even still, there's this... this... dark passenger lurking inside me that I can't control." His tone came out a little shaky, almost like he was scared of it too.

You placed your hand on his thigh and he looked from your hand to you, his usual bright green eyes looked sad and dull.

"Hayato..." This was the first time you ever used his first name outside of the bedroom. "I love you." This was also the first time you had confessed.

He turned his head to hide his blush and you said, "I really do."

"Che! Baaka-" he poked you in the middle of your forehead. "Don't say such stupid things."

* * *

**Gokudera's POV**

* * *

_ A man like me can't possibly be loved by a girl like you_, he thought.

He wanted to tell you he was sorry for the way he treated you, that he had a bad habit of taking his anger out on the wrong people.

He was angry that you were brought into this life, someone so beautiful and fragile shouldn't have to see the ugly side of the world. Just look what happened to his mother. She was stupid enough to love someone like his father and look where it got her. He didn't want the same fate for you.

He didn't want you spending time around that old pervert Shamal, that took no shame in groping women and making slutty comments whenever he felt like it. The thought of him putting his hands on you or disgracing you with his foul mouth made him grit his teeth and clench his fists. It nearly got him killed, arguing with Reborn-san. He knew that the Arcobaleno hitman wouldn't hesitate to put a bullet in his head if he disgraced the family or Juudaime. In which case he wouldn't, because he'd never go against the tenth.

Anyways he had to let it go, but it didn't stop him from being angry, it was the only emotion he was unable to control. So he took it out on the one person he knew would take it and it made him feel like scum. No, worse than scum. A real asshole, a piece of shit. He hated himself for it and he couldn't face you. He couldn't look into those beautiful, wide (e/c) eyes and see them smile through everything he had done to you. You reminded him too much of that baseball idiot, with that carefree attitude, smiling through everything, laughing at everything like you didn't have a care in the world.

It made him feel worse when you purposely avoided him, made him feel jealous that you rather spend your time with that pervert than with him and when you started going to sleep without him (and he knew that you never slept easy without him) was when he realized that even though you smiled through everything, even though he never saw you cry, he knew you were hurting.

He wanted to tell you how sorry he was but the words wouldn't come out of his mouth. When you told him you loved him just now, he wanted to tell you he had realized he loved you too only after he had almost let you go. That he had probably loved you since the day you told him he played beautifully in the halls of Namimori almost three years ago. But he just couldn't say it.

Poking you, he tells you not to say such stupid things but he's so relieved that you feel the same way he does, so relieved that you didn't want to wash your hands of him after the treacherous rollercoaster he's put you on since he came storming into your life three years ago. It was that moment he vowed to protect you with his life, just like he vowed to protect the tenth's. He swore to himself that he was never going to hurt you like that again because that's not what a man, the leader of the Vongola guardians, the Vongola Decimo's trusted right hand man, would do.

He stood, looking over his shoulder at you. You smiled at him, wide like the baseball idiot's smile.

"Tch, you've been spending too much time around that yakyū baka," he said, holding out his hand.

* * *

_You wanted to grab it, you wanted to embrace him, you wanted to kiss him but you were afraid to. Even though he just confessed his life story to you after all these years of not knowing much about the tortured storm guardian, after it gave you some insight to why he was the way he was, you couldn't help but be wary whenever he was near. His temper had a short fuse, just like his dynamite and though he had never raised a hand to intentionally hurt you, he did it in other ways. You didn't want to feel ashamed, hopeless, desperate ever again. You just wanted to love him, to just only feel love and happiness when you were with him._

* * *

Seeing the hesitation on your face made Gokudera's heart sink. He couldn't believe he had hurt you that much, he couldn't believe that he was such a _piece of trash_; not worthy of being loved by such a delicate flower like you.

He remembered the first time he made love to you, the first time he understood how you felt about him. He remembered the way you snuggled in close to him, asking him to stay the night. He knew you were at peace when you were in his arms, the way he was when you would always lay your head on his chest, falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. He just wish he knew how to tell you these things.

Then something dawned on him, something he knew he could say that would make you understand he wasn't going to be that bastard that treated you like garbage anymore. "Come," he said in a soft voice. "I want you to stay the night..."

**Author's Note :**

**So, I'm almost finished the actual story, it's taking me a pretty long time trying to figure out how to wrap up the ending.**

**As usual, reviews would make it super awesome (I really want to know how you feel about Gokudera's character. Is he too OOC? I always pictured him having a really dark side) and I'm sorry if this chapter and the last chapter annoyed you with the constant shifting of the points of view. **

**Keep reading! **


	8. Chapter VIII

**CHAPTER VIII**

* * *

_Back to the present..._

You unconsciously dodge a knife being thrown across the room as you're trying to discuss some plans for some new equipment with Spanner. It's not exactly Vongola equipment, but Giannini was clumsy and Spanner lived in a bubble when he worked and he was the only one you could trust with this assignment.

"Ooooi, senpaaaai...Could you not throw things around so carelessly?" The youngest Varia member plucked the knife from his giant frog helmet.

"Ushishishishi, next time I won't miss...YOUR FACE!" shouted Varia's second youngest member (and their craziest member - well, when it came to Fran it was debateable who was more crazy) as he jumped down from the sofa, nearly kicking Spanner in the head.

Spanner raised an eyebrow. "We should take this to the conference room," he said, the lollipop jittering with the movement of his mouth.

You sighed. It was so quiet in here five minutes ago... Come to think of it, it hasn't been quiet since the Varia got here three weeks ago.

"Yeah, I think you're right," you say.

"**VROOOOOOOOIIII!**"

Your ears rang from the deafening voice of the Varia's noisy swordsman, Squalo, storming into the living room.

He eyed the two of you and scowled. "Where is that bastard Xanxus now?! **OOOOOIIII, BEL!**"

"Urasai!" Bel shouted, throwing one of his knives in Squalo's direction.

You and Spanner make your way to the conference room, listening to the shouting from Squalo and the complaints from Fran being knifed in the head too many times.

"I wish they would go back to Italy already," you mutter.

You entered the conference room and were startled to see sixteen year old Lambo leaned back on a chair with his feet propped up on the long conference room's table.

You imagine Gokudera's eyebrow twitching (an easy way to tell he was annoyed) and him shouting, "Aho Ushi! Get your feet off the goddamned table and take things more seriously!"

You really missed him. He left three weeks ago, headed for Italy, to retrieve sensitive information from the CEDEF, which the Varia was supposed to have brought with them but somehow managed to forget. They ended up recruiting him for a mission they needed assistance with shortly after. Remembering his annoyed outrage with the Varia's incompetence made you smile. He always got so animated in those outbursts.

"Yaré , yaré," drawled Lambo. "They sure are a noisy lot." He lazily looked over in your direction. "Alright, I'll take my leave. Perhaps the lovely Kyoko-chan has prepared some sweet takoyaki for Lambo-san," he said, standing and rubbing his stomach.

Though he was older, nothing other than his hair, clothes and voice had changed. He still was a cry baby, lazy, obsessed with takoyaki and sweets and still referred to himself in third person, a trait you found he had in common with Haru Miura.

"Jaa ne," he said, waving a hand.

You watched him and leave and sighed. "Finally," you said.

Spanner grinned and set his laptop on the table. "This is why I prefer the tech room. Irie and I never have any disturbances there. It's imparative to our work."

"You don't let anything distract the while you work, Spanner. You don't pay attention to anything else," you joke.

"True," he said with a grin, replacing the finished lollipop with a fresh one.

"As a doctor I must tell you that too much sugar is bad for your blood, not to mention your teeth," you said playfully.

"Ah, but it keeps my brain working effeciently," he said, tapping his head.

You couldn't help but smile at his lax attitude.

"Okay," you said, laying out the data in front of Spanner. "Here's the criteria for the new equipment. You need to make sure that it's least 55 inches by 27 inches, and a standard of at least four and a half feet off the ground... and call me paranoid, but I want it to be sturdy and strong, and you know... safe. Just to ease my mind. And his."

Spanner nodded, looking over the paperwork.

You breathed a sigh if relief, so glad that was one less thing you had to take care of. "Also, please don't say anything about this to Tsuna or the other guardians, especially Gokudera. If they ask, just send them in my direction."

Spanner nodded again. "And the modifications?" he asked.

"I'll leave those to you, do what you see fit. Before assembling the complete product, run it by me for approval first."

"Got it," Spanner said.

"Thank you," you said, patting his shoulder. "I couldn't trust anyone else with this."

He gave you a warm grin, the stick of his lollipop sticking out the side of his mouth.

"Alright, I'll let you get to work," you said and left the conference room.

You headed back to your office, enjoying the fact that all the rooms on this floor contained the people that you had come to love as your family, no matter how aloof and antisocial they were, like Hibari-san or how annoying and loud they were like the Varia. No matter how crazy things got around here it always made you feel at home.

You entered your office and saw Shamal sitting at your desk.

"Oooh (Y/N)-chan! I'm back from my vacation!" He opened his arms wide for an embrace, lips puckered.

"Shishou...," you say, startled. It's been a year since you've seen your mentor.

You felt a hard tap on the top of your head.

"Oi, how many times have I told you not to call that perverted old man 'master'? It creeps me out, tch."

Your heart swelled with excitement as the familiar voice scolded you.

You spun around to see the bomber standing behind you with a crooked grin and arms crossed. He was dressed in a black, expensive Italian suit with a crimson dress shirt underneath and black tie. His silver hair was long and shaggy now, looking a lot like Shamal's. (Shamal loved to tease Gokudera about him copying his hairstyle)

He looks so much more mature in his suits, though you still loved the tight jeans and hoodies he wears on his off time. His fingers are still adorned with rings and now his ears are adorned with silver cuffs and studs on either side. His skin was still a creamy alabaster, his eyes still a gorgeous, glowing peridot. He couldn't be more handsome in your eyes.

You threw your arms around him, nearly knocking him over.

"O-oi, take it easy!"

"I missed you," you whispered.

He smiled at you.

"Argh, it's you, brat. I see you came back alive," Shamal said, draping an arm over both of your shoulders.

"Che, I'm surprised you are _still _alive, you filthy pervert. Get your hands away from her, bastard," Gokudera said curtly.

Shamal raised his hands. "Relax, relax. Still, I can't believe you managed to get a girl as cute as (Y/N)-chan," he sang, pinching your cheek. "You didn't even know what flirting was once upon a time. I didn't think you'd be interested...in women... "

Gokudera's eyebrow twitched. "Urasai baka!" he spat.

You laughed. "Calm down, you two...I smell Kyoko's cooking. Let's go eat," you said with a smile.

* * *

After dinner, you and Gokudera headed straight for the bedroom.

He kissed you with a hunger but it wasn't like before; since that night you told him you loved him he had never been that way with you again. His hunger came out of loneliness and lust, and though he never said it, love.

He peeled off your clothes and you only succeeded in getting his shirt and jacket off. He kissed your neck and shoulders and gently pushed you on to your bed.

Gokudera licked and sucked his way down your chest, your belly, your abdomen and kissed in between your thighs. You ran your fingers through his soft, shaggy hair and clutched as his fingers and tongue delved inside you, swirling and stretching and sometimes he'd bite, but only hard enough for you to shudder with pleasure.

You moaned and groaned and called out his name until your mouth was dry like cotton. He kissed down your thighs to your toes and he smiled when he saw them curl, because he knew you only did that when you came.

Gokudera stood, wiping his glistening lips off with the back of his hand and undid his belt, letting his silk dress pants slide down his jutted hip bones and lean, muscular legs. You recovered from your electrifying orgasm and sat up on your knees at the edge of the bed. You hooked a finger into the elastic of his boxers and brought him to the foot of the bed. Once there, you grabbed his waist with both hands and leaned in to kiss the lines of his sculpted abdomen, the creases of the muscles lining his hips and his navel, tracing the trail of faint hair that lead to his erection. You slide his boxers down, tracing your fingers up his inner thighs, stopping to massage his scrotum. He watched you intently, his gorgeous jade eyes clouded with a lusty haze. He bites his lip to stifle a premature moan. You dragged a fingernail up his shaft, following it with your tongue. You circle around his head, kissing the tip now and then and sliding your tongue back down to the bottom of his erection. You took his member into your mouth, slicking his engorged flesh with your saliva, licking and sucking and then pulling him from your mouth with a "pop". Gokudera ran his hands through your hair and clutched it in his fists, biting down hard on the corner of his lip. You licked up his shaft, stopping to lick the slit of his head and pre-cum that beaded there. He let out a throaty moan and pulled your hair back making your neck taught and he leaned in to lick and nip at your neck. Your mouth met his and he slid his tongue between your parted lips and ran it along your teeth, the roof of your mouth and finally, wrapping his tongue around yours, and you realize just how sweet he tastes.

You grab a a fistful of his hair and breathe, "I want you inside me. _Now_."

He doesn't make you wait or beg for it, he doesn't want to tease you.

He lifts you higher up on to the bed, coming in between your legs and slowly penetrates your wet, eager core. You let out a cry and wrapped your arms around his neck, still amazed that he fills you so perfectly like the two of you were made to fit together.

He rocks his hips steadily, propping himself up on one arm so that he can caress and massage your body with his free hand. His thrusts are deep and hard and you can't stop but think how much of an amazing fuck he is, how amazing he always has been.

It's not long before you're crying each other's names, panting and sucking in air, your bodies vibrating in tandem from the after shock of your orgasms.

You laid in the bed you shared with Gokudera, your head resting on his chest while his fingers were strewn through your hair. His body was warm, his skin was sheen with the sweat of your love but he smelled so intoxicating. You inhaled deeply.

"Don't... don't fall asleep yet," he said softly.

Curious, you propped your chin up on his chest to look at him. His face was a soft pink hue. You loved that he still blushed around you after five years.

"Hmm?" you asked tiredly.

"I-" he turned his gaze from you. "I have something for you," he said bashfully, sitting up.

You sat up, pulling the sheets up to your chest. "Really?" you ask surprised.

"Tch... don't act all surprised like I never give you anything," he said scornfully.

You pushed him playfully. "It's a rare occurrence," you said with a laugh.

"Che..." He leaned over the bed and pulled something out of his pants pocket. He sits, leaning against the massive cherrywood headboard. He doesn't let you see what he has in his hands. You unconsciously tuck your hair behind your ear and he smiles at you and you remember how much he likes that. He pulls you over to him and kisses you. There's still a dusting of pink on his ivory cheeks.

"Before boarding the plane to Italy, Bianchi came to see me and told me she had something she needed to tell me..." Gokudera let out a shaky breath. "She showed me a box of letters written to my mother from my father. She told me that they were love letters they had continued to write to each other even after I was born. In the letters my father is asking her to marry him but she's always refusing, but he never stops writing to her... In the letters he praises me, always referring to me as 'our son'...

"Bianchi also learned that my mother was dying from a rare and incurable disease, which is why she refused my father's proposal and why she let me go so easily. She didn't want to burden either of us, wanting me to have a full and happy life with loving parents. On the day her car ran off the cliff, she had a present for me in the backseat of her car. My father had thought she committed suicide, I thought he killed her but what really happened was that she succumbed to her disease before her car veered off the road...

"I didn't want to believe it, all this rage I had built up over all this time, where is it supposed to go now?"

You took his free hand and squeezed, kissing his cheek. He brushed the hair out of your face and opened his other hand, revealing a small, black velvet box.

After a long pause he says, "She also gave me this and told me that now that I had you and maybe...maybe start my own... family some day -" he blushed again - "that I should know that I was brought into this world by two loving parents... " Gokudera fell silent.

"Hayato...," you whispered. You could feel his anguish, his confusion, his hurt and his sorrow. He spent seventeen years hating a man for all the wrong reasons. You were somewhat relieved though and you hoped in a way, he was too. That now his dark passenger would cease torturing this anguished man you loved so much. That now he could be free to love you and anything else that came into his life, that he would smile for you and anyone else, and not just Tsuna.

His voice broke your thoughts "Anyways," he says, clearing his throat nervously, "this was my mother's...and well, I want you have it," he said, opening the black box.

You stared at him for a while, afraid and anxious, before looking down at the ring in the box. Inside was a gorgeous and ornate Victorian style platinum ring with a large, square cut viridian stone in the center. The ring literally took your breath away. You stared at it for a long time before you found your voice.

"Go-Gokudera... it's beautiful...," you whispered, not sure of what else to say. The ring was captivating.

"Tch, you don't like it, do you?"

You looked him in the eyes. "N-no, I...I... I'm just... blown away," you exclaim. "The ring... the stone is the same colour as your eyes," you said with a smile, kissing him on the corner of his mouth.

His cheeks get warm. He takes your left hand and shakily slips ring on your finger. "I... I want you to be mine, forever," he says softly.

This is all uncharacteristically like him. You're frozen in shock.

"And I want... us to have a family someday, when this family no longer needs me. I don't want to make the same mistakes my father made. I... I want to be with the woman I truly... love."

His last words hit you like sharp pins, sinking into every fiber of your being. You can't move, you can't speak. Hot tears begin to roll down your cheeks. This is the very first time he's ever told you he's loved you, the first time to even admitting that he did. And now he was putting a ring on your finger, staking his claim on you 'forever'. His words ring like bells in your ears.

He looks down at you worriedly. "(Y/N)... Did I say something wrong?"

You shake your head, bringing your hands up to your face to brush the tears away. The ring weighs heavily on your finger but in a good way.

"No...I...," you squeak, still unable to find your voice. You're so overwhelmingly happy, it washes over you in waves. You throw your arms around his neck and kiss him, catching him off guard.

He still has a worried look on his face so you finally manage to whisper, "Yes...yes, I want to be yours forever too."

**Author's Note:**

**This would have been a good ending, no? But no, I had to keep going so... keep reading! (Gokudera's gotten too OOC for me _)**


	9. Chapter IX

**CHAPTER IX**

* * *

**Gokudera's POV**

* * *

**A shrill siren interrupts your embrace.**

Gokudera doesn't waste any time rushing out of bed, throwing on his clothes - not minding to button up his shirt all the way or put on his jacket. He puts his shoes on and races out of his bedroom.

He skidded into the conference room, all the guardians but Chrome and Lambo were already there. Giannini nervously slaps at the keyboard, perplexed.

Yamamoto looks up and greets him with a stupid grin.

Hibari scowls at him from the corner of the conference room.

Ryohei slaps him on the back. "Awh! It's good to have you back, tako headdo!"

He spots the tenth staring up at the monitors on the wall. "Juudaime!"

The tenth turns, his eyes full of worry. "Gokudera..."

"What's going on, Juudaime?!"

"I'm not sure," the tenth says, his tone full concern.

Gokudera joins Yamamoto at the conference table, lightning a cigarette. He pulls on the smoke, reveling in the flavor. He blows the smoke out in rings.

"Juudaime," Giannini calls, "I think I've found the source of the alarm." His distraught tone worries Gokudera.

The tenth turns his attention to the computer screen. His eyes are wide. The colour from his face drains and his jaw falls open.

"Juudaime! What's going on?" Gokudera repeats, panicked.

The tenth turns to face his group of guardians, his skin pallid, eyes wide, his mouth drawn into thin, wavering line. "It's... Kyoko... Chan..."

The turf head leaps out of his seat. "What about Kyoko?!" he demands.

The tenth can't seem to find his voice.

"Tsuna?" asked Yamamoto.

Giannini clicked a button and the monitors on the wall flicked to the same image simultaneously.

Yamamoto's grin disappeared.

A small, barely audible gasp was uttered from Hibari.

Turf Head stumbled backwards, making some garbled sound.

Gokudera gaped at the image before him.

The tenth's new bride, Turf head's little sister, the mother of this family, Kyoko Sasagawa lay sprawled out on the pavement, her body bent and broken in a pool of crimson. Blood matted her copper hair and fair skin, her bright eyes bruised and swollen shut.

_How the fuck did this happen?_ He had just seen her two hours ago at dinner.

Gokudera could see the terror on the tenth's face, he could hear the choked semi-sobs Ryohei was making. He frantically ran a hand through his shaggy hair.

"Juudaime... I ran the diagnostics and I've found there is a pulse," Giannini said quietly.

The tenth entered hyper dying will mode and looked at the screen again. The look in his eyes actually scared Gokudera.

"Isn't that...isn't that Kyokuyo land?" asked Yamamoto.

"Mukuro," growled Turf Head. "I'm going to kill that fucker to the extreme!" He pounded the table with his brightly glowing yellow fist and the table instantly buckled and broke under the force.

Giannini's laptop crashed to the floor, the signal between the lap top and the monitors had been disrupted and now there was snow and static in place of that horrible image Gokudera couldn't get out of his head.

"Shibafu headdo! You fucking idiot, look what you've done!" Gokudera blurted, he couldn't help himself when it came to stupidity.

Turf Head turned to him, grabbing his shirt collar. "Aaawo! You wanna go, tako headdo?!" This voice, this voiced laced with actual harmful intent made Gokudera remember that Ryohei was a hot head like was, acting now and thinking later and he had just seen his sister at death's door.

Hibari put a tonfa in between the two and gave Ryohei a look that only the two friends would understand (and Hibari would never admit it but he actually considered Ryohei to be more of a friend then these other pathetic herbivores.)

Gokudera's eyes lowered to the floor. "Sorry," he muttered.

"It isn't Mukuro," Giannini said. "He's still being held at Vindincare."

"I don't care who it is, I'm going to kill them," the tenth said, his voice low and hollow.

_ He just said he was going to kill someone. _**KILL**_ someone_, Gokudera thought.

"Juudaime..."

"This is a trap," Hibari said, moving back to his corner.

"Tsuna-san! Tsuna-san!" there was a frantic crying floating down the corridor. Hariu burst into the conference room and cried,"Kyoko-chan is missing! Haru went to say-"

"Baka!" hissed Gokudera. "Read the mood!"

Haru looked up with wide eyes at the fuming Ryohei and the hyper willed tenth and fell silent.

"I've sent out a recovery team," Giannini said.

The tenth moved passed the wreckage of the broken table. "I don't care, I'm going."

"Juudaime!" Gokudera called. "You can't go just yet, it's probably a trap, like Hibari says." He reachezd out and grabbed the tenth's shoulder.

He shrugged it off. Anger and hurt and fear plagued the young Vongola boss. "If this was (Y/N), would you not be going to? Don't try to stop me."

Gokudera felt as if he had been punched in the gut. He was right.

"But Tsuna... we don't know what's going on!" protested the baseball idiot.

"Aaawo, I'm going too!" shouted Sasagawa. Gokudera couldn't tell if he was more pumped up for a fight than concern for his sister.

He was just no good at controlling his anger, like Gokudera.

"I'm not going to let you have all the fun," Hibari said walking passed the tenth and up the corridor to the elevator.

"I'll prepare the air bikes," Giannini said, picking up the broken laptop.

Gokudera watched as the tenth, shibafu headdo and Hibari made their way to the exit. Despite the dread he was feeling that something wasn't right, as his right hand man, he couldn't let the tenth go by himself.

"Gokudera?" came a familiar voice.

He spun around to see you standing there in shorts and one of his dress shirts. Despite everything that's going on, a shameful thought crosses his mind. He couldn't help but think how fuckable you looked right now.

Pushing the thought out of his mind as quickly as it entered, he hurried over to you. He didn't have much time, Yamamoto is already on his way too.

"What's going on?" you ask worriedly. You can sense the tension and sorrow in the air.

"I have to go -"

"But -"

"Shut up and listen!" Gokudera hissed.

You flinched.

He didn't mean to scare you, he was just edgy. He cupped your chin in his hand. "I'm sorry, but I have to go... Something's happened to Kyoko."

You looked at him wide eyed and he kissed your forehead.

"Juudaime is going to count on you to save her," Gokudera said, staring into your eyes.

"I... I won't let him down," you say. Gokudera leans in and gives you a passionate but hasty kiss. "I love you," he whispers to you and pulls away.

Gokudera runs to the elevator and he can hear you calling out to him but he can't hear what you've said when he enters the elevator and the door closes behind him.


	10. Chapter X

**CHAPTER X**

* * *

"I have something to tell you... " your voice trails off, already too late. You watch as your new fiance, the love of your life run into the elevator and you can't help but feel this overwhelming panic deep inside your stomach.

Shaking your head hoping to shake the feeling away, you compose yourself and ask Giannini to fill you in.

Haru crashes into you at the sound of the disturbing news. She sobs hysterically and you are on the brink of tears and you can't believe something so horrid has happened to such a bright light.

You don't want to leave Haru but you don't have time to grieve nor console, you need to debrief your medical staff and prepare yourself for Kyoko's arrival. Thankfully Bianchi turns the corner, coming to see what all the commotion is all about and you fill her in. She pries the hysterical Haru from your arms and smiles at the ring she's noticed Gokudera has placed on your finger. This isn't the time to gush about the engagement.

You rush to your room and with one last inhale of Gokudera's scent on his shirt, you toss it off and get dressed. You alert your medical team and order them to ready the room while you scrub in. You wait nervously for Kyoko. She's brought in unconscious by the Vongola Recovery Unit and they've managed to somewhat stabilize her. She's still bleeding and you know she's already lost a lot of blood. You notice the stab wounds to her abdomen and you choke on the lump forming in your throat, fighting back the tears.

* * *

** Gokudera's POV**

* * *

Hibari was right, this had been a trap.

But Gokudera knew that and so did everyone else before even leaving the base. He knew the tenth wasn't thinking rationally but he was unable to stop him from going out of control. The enemy had been the remaining funeral wreaths, they had come for revenge.

A few months ago, Gokudera and the entire Vongola family had saved the future, literally, after being informed that a man who was able to travel to parallel worlds was gathering a family of psychos, calling themselves the Millfiore.

Byakuran, the Millfiore's leader, was plotting a world domination because all his other attempts failed in the previous worlds, and he and his army were one of the most powerful foes the Vongola family has ever faced. His army was fierce, with just himself and six other members, they quickly incapacitated the small Vongola team that awaited them, a clear gap in their strengths.

They might not have made it out alive if it weren't for the Varia, Cavallone Family and the Kyokuyo Gang with the exception of the real Mukuro showing up.

Now here the funeral wreaths were, taking revenge on the Vongola by taking something precious from them the way the Vongola did by killing Byakuran. The only difference was that Kyoko was like the tenth, she was everything that was good in this world.

And that they had just fucked with the wrong mafia boss. Hell, they've just fucked with the wrong mafia famiglia. Peaceful gang of vigilantes or not, the Vongola wouldn't stand by and allow someone to live after hurting one of their own.

At least not while Gokudera was the feared Vongola right hand man.

After the ambush, the guardians managed to get separated, the tenth and Ryohei had chased down Kikyo while Hibari was busy fighting Bluebell.

Gokudera and Yamamoto had chased down another wreath. As far as Gokudera could tell there were only three of them here.

Here stood Zakuro, the same opponent he had back then and Gokudera already knew his strengths and weaknesses.

He plugged his storm ring into his box weapon and activated his Sistema C.A.I.

Zukuro laughed and reminded Gokudera he had nothing he hadn't seen before and that fighting was futile.

Gokudera laughed in return, reminding Zukuro of the same thing.

Yamamoto took his stance, his Shigure Kintoki alight with his rain flame.

Zukuro opened his Carnage box and unleashed a powerful gust of storm flame.

Attacks begin to ensue, Gokudera and Yamamoto work well together (though Gokudera would never admit it). There's still a noticeable gap in their power levels but Gokudera's smarter this time around. And they have Kyoko to avenge. And Gokudera has something to live for.


	11. Chapter XI

**CHAPTER XI**

* * *

You pace the halls, checking your wristwatch every five minutes unconsciously. You've done what you can for Kyoko and she's stabalized, unconscious.

You give the go ahead to Giannini to tell Tsuna and the others that Kyoko is safe and doing okay.

He doesn't tell you right away until you see Spanner and Irie in the conference room and start asking questions that he can't reach any of the guardians because of some interference. You haven't completely panicked yet and you know it isn't your place to make decisions but you tell Giannini to get a hold of Dino Cavallone to see if he's still in Japan and for him to assist the guardians and Tsuna. Strangely Giannini agrees and does what you ask right away. But with every minute that passes you become a little more worried. To make matters worse, Irie and Spanner can't figure out the source of the interference.

It's been three hours since the boys left and you can't help but feel the icy tendrils of dread creeping up your ribcage and wrapping around your heart. So now you pace the halls, thinking jokingly that you'd give anything right now for one of Gokudera's cigarettes to ease your nerves.

No. You just needed Gokudera and the others to be safe.

You were soon joined by Bianchi who stood with you in the hall. Irie poked his head out of the tech room which you had all moved to so that they figure out the problem with the communications. He tells you that the force surrounding Kyokuyo Land isn't something that he's ever seen before and that they were going to send out a recon team to figure out what was going on from a distance. This only gives you temporary relief.

Then Giannini tells you Dino and the Varia have already landed in Italy and won't be able to make it back in time. You don't even know what to say because you don't know what exactly is going on.

You let out a frustrated "Ugh!" and you kick the door frame causing Spanner to look up from his computer. He looks worriedly at you with green eyes that remind you of Gokudera, except Spanner's aren't the same resilient viridian orbs that you're so used to gazing into.

"You should try to relax, (Y/N). Stress isn't good for you or... " his voice trails off when he notices Bianchi but his eyes flutter down to your stomach and back up to your face.

You decide you can't stay here just waiting, you've got to keep busy. Bianchi is now looking at you peculiarly. You turn quickly to avoid conversation that's going to make you break down and head for the elevator. Once inside, you look out to see Bianchi looking from Spanner to you, perplexed. The elevator doors shut and you breathe a sigh of relief.

You get out at the medical wing to check on Kyoko and the sad eyes of Fūta, Lambo and Haru rest upon you and you try to give a wary smile to let them know that everything will be okay but even you don't believe that. You can't shake the constant nag in the back of your mind telling you something wasn't right.

* * *

**Gokudera's POV**

* * *

His lungs try to suck in oxygen but every time he moves, the broken ribs he's sustained knife him and send searing pain through his entire body.

Gokudera grips the dirt in front of him, struggling to stand but can't find the stamina.

Yamamoto is panting heavily, wiping blood out of his eyes. He leans on his sword for support because his legs won't stop trembling. He's in front of Gokudera, guarding him while he hopes it won't be long till Gokudera gets on his feet.

Blood and sweat sting Gokudera's eyes and his hair is matted to his neck and cheeks. He knows that he's got more than just broken ribs but he can't be bothered to think about that right now.

Zukuro isn't in good shape either, missing an arm and part of his tail but there's still too much of a power gap between them.

"Yama... mato..." Gokudera struggles to speak, each breath equals in a searing pain in his sides.

"Get up," Yamamato says sternly. He knows what Gokudera is capable of and he won't let him admit defeat so easily.

Gokudera bites down on his lip and summons enough strength to push himself up. Once in a kneeling position he points his legendary bow at Zakuro but he can't see through the blur of sticky blood.

Zakuro laughs and races in towards the already broken men, darting and weaving so that Gokudera can't get a clean shot. Yamamato is hesitant because he doesn't want to leave Gokudera unguarded but he takes off in a burst, kicking up a cloud off dust, straight in the line of Zukuro.

Zukuro already knows the swordsman's style and knows which stance he's entering before Yamamoto pulls it off. He's already off the ground, above Yamamoto because his real target is the only threat he sees and that is Gokudera.

Even though Yamamoto is extremely agile, he isn't able to turn or rush back in time to counter, leaving Gokudera wide open.

Gokudera isn't stupid, he's quite skilled and observant and he already knows Zakuro's plan.

Just as Zakuro is about to attack, Gokudera pulls out a small stick of dynamite and because every one of his ribs are pretty much broken, he can't turn or move fast enough to get out of the line of fire so he braces himself for impact, lights the stick of dynamite off his slowly smoldering cigarette and flicks the dynamite behind him. In a split second there's an explosion and Gokudera is hurled a few feet from his prior position, hitting the ground with a hard thud and skidding along the dirt. He lets out a agonizing howl. White hot pain rips through his body, the skin on his back is flaring and he can smell burning flesh. The stick of dynamite he's just used to rocket him away from Zukuro has bought him enough time to see Yamamoto leap high above his head, bringing down his Shigure Kintoki down on Zukuro who had been disoriented momentarily from the blast. Blood spurts from the deep gash but it isn't enough to hinder Zukuro because he manages to swat Yamamoto out of the way, sending the once baseball player flying.

Gokudera is spent, he can't move. He doesn't want to give up, he's not giving up but he can see Zukuro staggering over to him, his eyes glaring with murderous intent and he's barely got enough energy to pull out a larger stick of dynamite and light it off the cigarette clenched between his teeth. He hears the satisfying crackle of the fuse being lit and even though he knows it won't do much, he smirks and throws it with full might, feeling the muscles in his shoulders rip. It's painful but he can barely feel it against the extreme burning sensation on his back.

The dynamite falls short of Zakuro, exploding but not detouring the monster in the slightest.

Gokudera glances over at Yamamoto who's still unconscious, crumpled at the base of the tree he had connected with after being swatted like a bug.

"Che... fu-fucking use... less...yakyū..."

Gokudera pulled out the remaining sticks of dynamite he had left, which were four to be exact and fit them snuggly between his fingers. He puffed on his cigarette to get a good burn, he needed to make this quick because the cigarette was nearing the butt. He lit all four fuses and grinned behind his cigarette. He waited for Zukuro to clear the smoke, the oversized ugly lizard still making his way towards Gokudera staggering like an inebriated drunkard. He stopped short, his mouth agape when he noticed the assault waiting for him.

"Take... this, you fucker!" Gokudera yelled, using the last of his strength to hurl the dynamite in Zukuro's direction.

Zukuro's look of bewilderment quickly changed to a look of arrogance as he darted out of the way.

Gokudera's mouth twisted up into a smug smirk. These weren't ordinary dynamite.

"Rocket bombs!" he shouted as the world started to go black around him.

He could feel himself getting light headed and cold and he knows he's sustained far too many injuries and lost too much blood to be okay. He coughs and gargles, blood spluttering out of his mouth on to his chin and already stained and tattered dress shirt. He hears the explosion go off and he feels the vibration rocketing through the earth below him. It must have woken the stupid baseball freak because he can hear him calling his name frantically but he sounds so far away. Gokudera fights to keep his heavily lidded eyes open, his breaths become shallow and his mind is telling his body to move but it won't comply. He can feel Yamamoto beside him now, still shouting his name and telling him to hang in there. He wants to tell him to shut up but he can't muster up the energy to open his mouth. Yamamoto's voice starts to sound like it's underwater, far away and incoherent and Gokudera can't tell if he's crying but it sounds like he is. The pain plaguing his body is still there but it's now faded to a dull, muted throb like the sounds entering his ears. He can't make out what Yamamoto is saying and he feels the conciouness slipping out from underneath him but he swears he hears the word "father".


	12. Chapter XII

**Chapter XII**

* * *

You walk into his office, still with a tight knot in your stomach but just being here with the things that remind you of him seem to lull you a bit. Your eyes scanned his vast library of books and fell onto his desk where he had his cryptozoology magazines strewn across the surface, his reading glasses upturned and a whiskey glass sitting on the edge. You smiled at the little quirks he had, knowing your man had so many layers, all a different shade but he wasn't as hard to figure out as he thought he was.

Your thoughts were interuppted by Bianchi's silken voice.

"How long?" she asks.

"Hmm?" you ask, confused.

She stares at you with a straight face and raises a brow, her green eyes just a few shades shy of her brother's glowing green eyes. "I saw the way Spanner looked at you," she said calmly.

Afraid that Bianchi has somehow gotten the wrong idea and came to her own conclusions about a possible affair between you and Spanner, you throw your hands up defensively and let out a nervous laugh.

"It's not what you think," you say. "I love Hayato."

Bianchi's lips curl in a soft smile. "I know," she says. "He told me everything."

You furrow your brow quizzically and purse your lips, wondering why she just won't come out and say what she wants to say.

"H-how... what...?" you stammer.

"I poisoned it out of him," she says crossing her arms. She leaned in the doorway and it reminded you of the way Gokudera would lean in the doorway of your office and watch you work.

"Wait... You... poisoned Spanner?" you ask warily.

Bianchi shrugged. "I tried asking him nicely and he wouldn't tell me anything so I had no choice."

You lowered your face into the palm of your hand. "You could have just asked me," you say in an almost comical tone.

"I suppose," she says, uncrossing her arms and moving out of the doorway. "But I figured if you wanted me to know, you would have said something. But when I saw the ring... " Her eyes gaze down to Gokudera's mother's ring he had placed on your fingers hours before. "...Does he know?" she asks.

You look from the ring to Bianchi, your hand unconsciously floating to your stomach. "No," you say solemnly, and that annoying sense if dread begins to tug at you again.

There was a sudden outburst of noise and yelling and Lambo rushes into Gokudera's office almost tripping over his feet.

"They're back!" he exclaims excitedly and turns back down the hall.

You and Bianchi, along with Giannini and Lambo, race to the elevator and take it down to one of the many hidden entrances to the base.

There's a lot of commotion and your medical staff has already met you there and you see Ryohei and Hibari strut through the crowd and something strange happens that only makes the dread you've been feeling for the last several hours worsen.

Hibari walks past you and though he's never regarded you before, looks over at you and frowns, but it's not a usual menacing frown but it's almost... disheartening. You mean to ask him what happened but Ryohei slams his hands down on your shoulders with tears in his eyes and asks you how Kyoko is doing.

You smile brightly for him, assuming he's upset and the tears are for Kyoko and tell him she's doing great and getting much better. When he sees you smile, he breaks down into sobs and you assume it's because he's relieved even though his sobs don't sound like he's at ease.

You can't see much over Ryohei's large, muscular body so you try to wriggle out of his grip and that's when you see it.

You suddenly feel like you've been smacked by a wall, hard. Your blood runs cold, your stomach plummets to the steel floor below you, your limbs go numb and somehow the ground goes out from underneath you and you're falling forward, everything moving in slow motion.

Ryohei catches you and grips you into an almost bear hug to prevent you from lurching forward. Some sort of sound comes out of your mouth. It sounds like a gasp, a cry, a silent scream all mixed into one incoherent noise.

Ahead of you, directly in your line of sight stands Yamamoto, his body already looking like it's been through hell and back. He's bent over and he's carrying something - no, _someone_.

He's looking right at you, a look of anger and sorrow and guilt plaguing his otherwise cheerful face.

On his shoulder you can see a tuft of dull and dirty silver hair stained with streaks of blood and chunks of dirt.

You know right away, no one has to say anything, they've already said it with their eyes.

Everything seems to be standing still, there's no noise, there's no movement, you yourself aren't even breathing. You can't, because it's hitched in your throat and there's that uncomfortable, burning lump that's formed there to prevent you from screaming out at the top of your lungs.

Ryohei's grip is strong but you can't stand anyways, your legs have become jellied and you sink to the floor, unable to tear your eyes off Yamamoto who's just standing there with that same stupid look on his face and you realize it's starting to make you angry. Angry because you don't want to accept it. You can't accept it.

Tsuna walks out from behind Yamamoto and everything is still moving so slow, no one has taken Gokudera to treat him... _why, why hasn't anyone helped him_?

You wanted to scream it but no sound would come out.

Tsuna places a hand on Yamamoto's shoulder and nods to Ryohei, his face has almost no emotion in it and you want to scream at Tsuna too, because why, why does he look like that? That's his right hand man, why isn't he doing anything to help him?

Ryohei swoops you up and carries you bridal style and everything begins to move again. You thrash and kick and finally you've found your voice because you start screaming and it isn't coherent except for the times you let out a slew of impleasantries, most of them regarding Ryohei and his mother and the bastard Yamamoto.

Gokudera has disappeared from your line of sight but it doesn't stop you from trying to break free of Ryohei.

He enters a room you've never been in and to your surprise Shamal is waiting next to a cot and you know what's going to happen next. You scream at Shamal to get away from you, you scream and plead for them to let you see Gokudera, why can't they understand that you just want to be with him?

You feel a sharp pinch in your neck and you know Shamal has just given you a tranquilizer via mosquito. You start to feel nauseous and light headed and your body starts to feel heavy, it's not so easy to struggle against Ryohei who was now laying you down on the cot. Shamal takes your arm and searches for a vein to insert an I.V drip and though you can't feel your limbs you still have a voice. You plead with Shamal to let you go, you just want to see the man you loved, the man you refused to believe was dead. Something clicked inside your head and you remembered something important.

"Sha...Shamal..." you breathe tiredly, "what... what did you... I can't...the ba-" and you were swallowed by darkness.

* * *

Some hours later you awoke, the I.V still plugged into your vein and there was a EKG machine beeping softly in the background. Your surroundings swim into focus and you're not surprised to see Bianchi sitting in your room, next to this uncomfortable bed (because it's not the bed you share with Hayato) with a distraught look on her face. She's better at hiding her emotions than Gokudera is but you can still read her, they don't realize how similar they were to each other. You could see the anger seething in her eyes but beyond them was a lot if hurt and when she looked at you, pity. You didn't want anyone's pity. What you really wanted was Gokudera but he... he wasn't ever going to be there.

Just thinking these words seized your heart, these thorny vines of hurt and pain wrapping around your heart and oh god it felt like you were dying. It felt like your heart had been crushed by a vice, it felt like your lungs had exploded. Your whole chest weighed down with a heavy pressure that wasn't reverse going away. You felt the hot sting of tears rolling down your cheeks and your whole body just ached.

"Bia-n-chi..." you say between sobs, "Is he...?" You can't bring yourself to form the the word.

She looks down at the floor avoiding your eyes like she's avoiding the question. Finally after a long pause she nods, a single tear falls down her cheek.

You feel burning hot claws clutch your heart and it feels like its been ripped to shreds. It hurts so bad you can't breathe.

Bianchi sits in silence while you cry softly to yourself. After a while she leaves and you're alone. You don't try to move, you just lay there listening to the melodic beep of the EKG machine, wishing that the melody that floated to your ears were his fingers on ivory keys instead. You drift in and out of sleep, it isn't really sleep, it's exhaustion, it's pain and it's the effects of Shamal's mosquito.

**Author's Note:**

**Well! I know I'm getting killed for this chapter. **

**Reviews would be awesome. **

**Almost done guys, hang in there. Keep reading!**


	13. Chapter XIII

**Chapter XII**

* * *

After a day of just passing in and out of reality, not really caring if you were coming or going, you decided you had to get up. You couldn't take the mournful and desolate looks they gave you, and they were the only ones that stayed by your side. You couldn't stand this stifling room anymore, you needed to be with his things. You needed to be around what reminded you of him because as much as you didn't want to face reality, it was there to face you.

For once, you had been left alone and you took the opportunity to take the saline drip out of your hand and tried standing. You staggered on your feet but managed to stand shakily on your trembling legs. You shuffled out of the room and once you entered the halls of the base, the condensed, sorrowful unpleasant atmosphere hit you like a brick to your face, making your chest tighten and lungs squeeze,

You clutched your chest, as if that would do any good, and made your way to the elevator. You knew you probably wouldn't make it very far before Giannini alerted someone and they came running to drag you back to your personal hell, but that didn't happen.

You managed to get to his office unseen, when you stopped dead in your tracks. Tsuna was there, waiting for you.

"(Y/N)..."

"Please, Tsuna... don't. I...I can't." You let out a shaky breath and your eyes burned with the threat of fresh tears.

"I...I just wanted you to know...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't get there in time," Tsuna blurted.

This was what you wanted to avoid. This blame game, because it seemed all to natural to blame someone for what happened to Gokudera. It was all to pleasing to you to secretly hate these men for having to have failed to protect the most important thing in your life. But that bastard reality was back again, and bitterly you knew it wasn't anyone's fault.

Gokudera had died protecting his family, his tenth, his honor.

What he failed to do was to protect this family, your growing family.

It wasn't his fault either, but... it was only natural to have someone, anyone to blame.

"The... the funeral...it's tomorrow," Tsuna choked out.

You nodded.

"His stuff..."

"Please leave it to me," you whispered, afraid of your voice cracking should you speak any louder.

He gave you one last look, a look that read he was dying on the inside too, just like you were and left the room, squeezing your shoulder as he departed.

Leaving you alone with nothing but the ghosts of your lover.

You packed up a few of his things, tucking his glasses into your pocket, picking up the pen he chewed on when he was concentrating or in deep thought, tracing the rim of his whiskey glass, knowing that his lips were never going to touch it again, just like they weren't ever going to touch yours again.

In your bedroom, the bed sheets were still tangled in a mess from your love making and it hit you again, the sudden realization that he was here, he was here in this bed with you telling you he loved you for the first time just twenty four hours ago. The black box was still on the bed, his jacket still on the floor.

You moved over and picked it up, bringing it close to your face and inhaling his cologne and underneath that, the scent of him; the stale but not putrid smell of cigarette smoke, the natural sweet musk his skin smelled like. You wrapped yourself in his jacket and curled up into your bed, hugging yourself and pulling the sheets and comforter over you in hopes it would warm the chill you couldn't seem to get rid of, but you knew it wouldn't do any good because these cold sheets weren't Gokudera's arms. They'll never hold you again.

And with that, you began to cry again, cried until exhaustion took over and dragged you down into a lonely slumber.


	14. Legend

**Legend** :

Y/N - Your name

H/C - Your hair colour

E/C - Your eye colour

Note - The piece Gokudera plays on the piano is "When the Love Falls" by Yiruma. [**Chapter 2**]

Note - The "Dark Passenger" reference is credited to the HBO television series "Dexter" based off Jeffery Lindsay's novels, starting with "Darkly Dreaming Dexter" and was adapted for television by James Manos Jr. (See Wikipedia - wiki/Dexter_(TV_series) [**Chapter 7**]

**LANGUAGES** :

Juudaime - Japanese (Romanji); "Tenth"

Yakyū Baka - Japanese (Romanji); "Baseball Idiot"

Shibafu headdo - Japanese (Romanji); "Lawn/Turf Head"

Aho Ushi - Japanese (Romanji); "Stupid Cow"

Baka 'Dera / Aho 'Dera - Japanese (Romanji); "Idiot Gokudera / Stupid Gokudera"

Dame 'Dera - Japanese (Romanji); "No good Gokudera"

Teme! - Japanese (Romanji); An offensive, informal way to say "You", sometimes loosely translating to bastard.

Yaré, yaré - Japanese (Romanji); [SFX] Loosely translated as "my oh my"

Shishou - Japanese (Romanji); "Master"

Ora fusa per me, bella - Italian; "Now purr for me, beautiful" [**Chapter 4**]

Venire per me - Italian; "Come for me" [**Chapter 4**]

Ulare, urlare! - Italian; "Scream, scream!" [**Chapter 4**]

**DISCLAIMER : I do not own any of the Kateyko Hitman Reborn! characters [though I wish I owned Gokudera), original plotlines or art. I don't own the art on the cover, or own you.**

**Credits to Akira Amano. Katekyo Hitman Reborn!**

**Stay tuned for the epilougue.**


	15. Epilogue

**_Epilogue _**

You stood before the tall tombstone, the brisk fall wind encircled you, giving you a bit of a shiver and blowing your hair out. You reached up and tucked it behind your ear.

Today was his birthday, six years after his death. You came often, usually staying long enough for the burn of a cigarette to run it's course. The smell and the swirl of the smoke will forever remind you of him.

Things in the Vongola family had never really gone back to normal, everyone went around in a daze long after he was gone.

Kyoko got better and Tsuna was moving on.

Ryohei married his girlfriend, Hana Kurokawa.

Lambo grew up into a fine man, respectful and serious and strong.

Hibari never changed.

Yamamoto tried to commit suicide, taking a stance on an all too familiar ledge, but like before, Tsuna talked him out of it. He never smiled anymore.

The rest of the gang moved on, slow but they did it.

Bianchi was finally able to find happiness with Reborn once the Arcobaleno curse had broken.

Haru and Irire got close.

Spanner went on to invent a lot of things, with the assistance of the always healthy competitions held with Giannini.

Shamal was still a single, perverted old man.

The Vongola family did what it was good at, it protected Japan, it protected Italy and any other country that needed it. Any other person that needed it.

The Vongola Primo would have been proud.

You listened to the last notes of the piano piece that he had played in the Namimori halls so long ago, though it was a sad song, it signified your beginning because that's when you were pretty sure you fell in love with him.

Since then, he had recorded it for you to listen when he was away on missions. Now he was just...away.

His death still brought tears to your eyes and you still always felt that pang in your heart, because you still loved him like you did when he was alive, maybe even more now. Definitely more now.

It was too windy to have a cigarette lit, so you settled for his music, and when that was over, you smiled to yourself.

The wind seemed to still.

"Awh, I wonder what he was really like," piped a small voice from beside you. "Was he a good man?"

"Yes, he was a good man."

"Was he a strong man?"

"Yes, he was a strong man."

"Was he a proud man?"

"Yes, he was a very proud man. Sometimes too proud for his own good."

"Was he...a funny man?"

You chuckled. "Sometimes."

"Do you think he loved me?"

You looked down and smiled sweetly at the wide and bright jade eyes that looked back you. You tousled his soft silver hair.

"Yes, he loved you. Always remember that you were brought into this world by two loving parents, even if Daddy wasn't here to meet you, okay, Hayato?"

The small child beamed at you and grabbed your hand. "Can we go home now? Uncle Shamal says he's got some cool trick to show me!"

"Che... how many times have I told you to stay away from that crazy old man?"

He laughed and so did you and you bent down and squeezed the little boy, kissing him on the forehead and throwing him up on to your back. He wrapped his arms around your neck, his porcelain skin almost glowing in the sunlight.

_Hayato, I hope our son turns into the man that you wanted to be, the man I knew you could be. Thank you, thank you for giving me the best gift you could ever have given me and though you're not here with me now, the night will never be lonely again._

_**Fin**_

* * *

**Author's Note: **

**Wow! It's about time, this was a real pain towards the end, but I hope you enjoyed it! As always I look forward to your reviews! **

**Thanks for reading! **


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